Blog Series: Tips for Getting Through a Divorce
by Susan Culpepper, Attorney at Law
Serving the New Orleans, Mississippi Gulf Coast and Jackson, MS communities
In most cases, seeds of divorce are planted long before the actual filing. Often, seeds germinate for years before a divorce lawyer is called. Feelings of misery that lead to separation and divorce are triggered by new stages in life. For example:
- When one person feels they are outgrowing the other
- A midlife crises (the sobering realization that you have more time behind you than in front)
- A dull and persistent depression
- The bickering and arguments become too much to handle.
- In a smaller percentage of cases, a pivotal event such as an extra-marital affair, drug addiction, physical or mental impairment, takes one to the breaking point.
It is easy to get drawn into a hundred different directions and lose touch with our heart, which is the hub of the wheel.
Most of our daily lives are spent bouncing around on the rim, hitting every pothole and bump along the way. When feelings of discontent begin to surface, we also gravitate to the easiest escape route, instead of turning to a therapist, yoga practice, or spiritual advisor. Carving out time to be alone is necessary during this time. This can be done by spending time in nature and taking a walk.
When children are involved, it is important to realize the effects that physical separation can have on their lives. Some people opt to wait until children are out of the house to file a divorce, and either grit their teeth through it or bury their head in the sand.
At the end of the day, the decision is yours and yours alone. What is most important is that you honor exactly where you are in your life and to be clear about your intentions moving forward. If you are living an authentic life and being true to your self, then the answer should be easier to make.
Just make sure you’re not turning to your friends for advice. While a friend may help you get those nasty feeling out in the open, your friend CANNOT make this decision for you.
If you are reading this, you are obviously thinking of a divorce (or fantasizing about one)! See my next blog in the TIPS FOR GETTING THROUGH A DIVORCE: #2 Taking the Plunge and Choosing the Right Attorney.